Photo by Charles ?? on Unsplash
Roughly 1/3 of women say that at some point they?ve experienced ?squirting,? often used interchangeably with the term ?female ejaculation.? Though most say it has only happened once or twice.
In the realm of guys? sexual fantasies, being with a ?squirter? probably ranks right up there. ?Gushers,? or women who squirt regularly or a lot at a given time, can be considered utter figments of imagination, and women who do squirt may need a high level of comfort plus ample clitoral or G-spot stimulation to get there even once.
I?m a ?gusher.? I squirt every time I have a clitoral orgasm (and I very easily have them), and the amount of liquid I release varies. I have told all my partners beforehand (I used to say I was warning them) because for people that have never been with a squirter before, it can be?surprising.
It is such a regular part of my sexual experience that I do not feel satisfied without one. Vaginal penetration feels amazing if I have one right before, and it is always how I want to end a sexual encounter.
I didn?t discover I was a squirter until I was in college because I would find myself regularly holding back when I masturbated. When I finally did for the first time, I had a lot of shame around it. None of my friends talked about basically wetting the bed when they came, so I felt like there was something wrong with me.
Thankfully, porn and some enthusiastic partners helped ease my sense of uniqueness, but being a ?gusher? has its share of drawbacks:
1. It?s messy.
American sex guru and co-author of the original G-spot book, Beverley Whipple says that typically, the amount of fluid released is around ?half a coffee cup-full.? Other experts say some women can produce a quart of liquid at one time.
For this reason, squirting is messy. You have to be mindful of the surface you?re having sex on, and your bed must have a waterproof mattress cover and you must have spare clean sheets at all times. My current partner and I make sure to bring towels to bed with us too, but sometimes stopping to reach for a towel or changing position or place can seem like it?d kill the mood, so we just don?t want to. Therefore we may end up throwing the comforter, sheets, and mattress cover into the washer or trying to mop up the couch at 9 o?clock at night.
We are hoping that purchasing a blanket like this one (waterproof and fleece) will help cut down on the mood-killing and laundry bills.
2. It can stain.
French gynecologist Samuel Salama and his colleagues studied 7 women who report producing large amounts of fluid at orgasm. While two women?s fluids showed no difference chemically from their urine, the other five had a small amount of an enzyme not detected in their initial urine sample that they believe is part of ?true? female ejaculate.
So sometimes when women squirt, it?s pee, or it?s close to pee, or it?s pee mixed with female ejaculate, or it?s just female ejaculate, which is another non-clear liquid altogether.
Depending on my diet, hydration, the time of the day, the cycle of the moon, etc. (as in, I really have no clue), what I squirt might be yellow, clear, or milky-white. I can usually expect to see some color on light-colored sheets or towels after I orgasm, but more often than not, it?s clear.
3. Not all guys are into it.
The reason why I said earlier that I used to ?warn? guys is that I?ve had a few partners that just weren?t into it. It?s not that they were turned off per se, but it was obviously not their thing.
Taking special precautions like grabbing towels or moving from couches to beds so no living room furniture is stained wasn?t something they liked doing. A couple of times they told me it straight up ?ruined the vibe.? And they never excitedly watched me get myself off either.
What I discovered is that some guys liked the novelty more than the reality. Once the novelty wore off and they realized it?s sort of this thing that requires extra steps, they weren?t necessarily on board for it being a repeat endeavor, which sucked because it?s what I enjoy doing a lot.
4. Some sexual positions are a no-go.
69 is totally out. The reason why? If I?m on top and my partner makes me squirt, it?s going to go up his nose, and the last thing I want to do is drown my partner. If he?s on top, then I might get him in the eye. Talk about a mood killer!
Despite these drawbacks, squirting is an integral part of every single one of my sexual experiences. It?s intensely satisfying, and I don?t hate or have shame that my body is?umm?.more expressive than other women?s when it comes (pun!) to orgasming. Being a squirter does require a little more forethought and negotiating with my partner, but that?s the nature of every sexual relationship.
Four Truths About Sex in Relationships
A healthy sex life requires open communication and agreement. Period.
Thankfully, I have a partner today that loves that I do this and is willing to deal with the drawbacks to bring me all the pleasure I want.
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