It taught me a lot about myself
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay
Most of us reach the point of bodily curiosity where we take a mirror and look at our genitals up close and personal. Those hidden places we can?t see just by looking down.
I?m assuming it?s the same for men, though I?ve never actually asked my partner. If I had a cock and balls, I?d definitely be viewing things at all kinds of angles and seeing what my bits looked like from underneath.
I didn?t grab a mirror and study my vagina until I was a teenager ? and what a strange, unusual new world it was. Now, with my partner?s shaving mirror on the bathroom shelf always within reach, I?m a regular observer. Once or twice a month, I check things out. I do this for a couple of reasons ? to see how my grooming situation is or to check for ingrown hairs. I also like to see what it looks like when I do Kegels or how my natural lubricant is doing at that time of the month. Especially since I got my IUD, which is putting my lubrication into overdrive much of the time.
Eventually, I studied photos of other women?s vaginas online. I was intrigued by our similarities, but even more fascinated with our unique differences. Not every woman?s vagina is varying shades of pink like mine. Not every clit is located a bit high like mine. Not every gal has inner labia smaller than the outer labia, like I do.
This same fascination with similarities and differences goes with my penchant for sexual voyeurism. I sometimes read sexual stories or watch porn showing things I?m not into, just to see what makes other people tick.
I keep a pretty open mind while I do this, so I?m also taking note of new things that I might be brave enough to try at some point.
More often, I?ll read about or watch things I?m into, things I know I already love to do, because sometimes there?s nothing like finding common ground with a fellow human.
That might explain why one of my favorite things to do is watch a woman go solo.
A major turn-on, and educational too
I?ve always had an incredibly strong sense of empathy ? one of the strongest of everyone I know in my personal life. When I watch a woman come, I can damn near feel her inner muscles tighten with delicious tension, her building pleasure, and then her glorious release.
If I watch a video or two of a woman masturbating with her fingers or a toy ? rubbing her clit, fucking herself, or doing both at the same time with the camera up close on her uniquely shaped vagina, I?ll be so ready to go that I can make myself come in record time.
I love observing how we all come differently and from different types of stimulation. Some women like faster and shorter strokes, some slower and longer. Some rub their clit with a dildo and then thrust it into their vagina all in one rapid motion, repeating the move over and over again rather than stimulating both zones at the same time.
And the varied orgasms that happen as a result are just as fascinating. Some are very wet, some are loud, and some cause the vagina to visibly contract, pumping out the dripping wet evidence of a climax with each pulse.
As a straight gal who isn?t all that turned on by the thought of sex with a woman, watching a woman making herself come turns me on like crazy.
And one day, the idea struck. I wanted to know what I looked like when I went solo too ? and I wanted to see it close-up.
I filmed myself masturbating one day during my lunch break, back when I worked from home and could take a break tucked away in my bedroom, pleasuring myself if I needed a release.
I got totally naked and made myself comfortable on my bed with a couple of pillows under my head and one under my ass, lifting my hips up so that my vagina was level with the selfie camera on my phone. I?d set the phone on a pillow between my legs and propped it up so that I could be hands-free ? as I planned to use both for myself.
The selfie camera was a nice touch because for the most part, I could see what I was filming.
I love a good vibrator, but for this experiment, I wanted the orgasm to take a bit longer. I was equipped with only my hands and started the way I typically do. I licked the fingertips of my left hand and rubbed my wet fingers against first one nipple, then the other.
At the same time, I used my right hand to pump two fingers into my vagina several times, getting them slick with my own lubricant before gently massaging my clit. The moment the tips of my finger touched the sensitive skin of my clit, I immediately felt the urge to open my bent legs wider. I did so, putting myself in more of a butterfly position.
I alternated between fingerfucking myself and rubbing my clit, gradually increasing speed while I pinched and even twisted my nipples a bit harder.
There is a direct line from my nipples to my clitoris. I discovered that pretty quickly back when I first started masturbating.
The nipple play and increased friction got me closer to the edge as my breathing became more rapid. I started thrusting my pelvis upward rhythmically as I stroked my wet fingers at a slight downward angle, gliding with more speed and pressure as I felt my stomach muscles tighten and my vaginal wall start to clench.
This was the point where I was getting even closer and felt ready to take things up another notch. I abandoned my nipple play and began to finger myself while simultaneously strumming my clit. (I would have kept going with the nipples if I had three arms, but we work with what we have, right?)
I straightened my legs and spread them in a wide V at that point. Somehow, that stretched-out feeling high up in my thighs does something to increase the pleasure.
I let out a staccato, open-mouthed moan of pleasure with each breath ? one of the many perks of having the house to yourself during the day.
I became more vocal the closer I got to climax. As I neared the edge of orgasm, I slid my fingers across my clit as fast as I could at a 45-degree angle as I pressed upward with the three fingers I was thrusting in and out of my vagina.
When I came, it was loud and long. I felt my muscles first grip my fingers and then start to contract. As the contractions continued, I removed my fingers from inside me to get a clear shot with the camera. I kept rubbing the top of my clit though, which made the pleasurable contractions of my orgasm go on a bit longer.
When I couldn?t take any more rubbing, I rolled to my side and clenched my thighs together, my hand pressing hard against my sex between them.
It was a thoroughly satisfying session, and I was ready to watch the whole thing up close.
Replay and review
The video playback was more educational than I could have imagined. It not only satisfied the curiosity I had of what my most intimate parts looked like during stimulation and orgasm ? it also taught me more about technique.
I saw a clear visual of when and how I like the increase of speed and friction, the angles of stimulation that work best, and, I could actually see the difference between being close to orgasm and falling over the edge of release.
I can see why football players watch their games to improve their strategy.
As someone who is pretty open with her long-term partner, I?ll confess that I did not send my solo video to him. At the time, I felt shy about it. I wanted it to be for me, for my own learning. And the video did help me better put into words how I wanted my partner to pleasure me, how I liked him to touch my clitoris to bring me to orgasm ? so there was value in how it helped us as a couple even if I didn?t let him watch.
But ? there really was a missed opportunity there. If a guy?s mouth is all up in my vagina when he?s making me come, he?s not really in a place to see what?s happening. If he?s kissing my mouth and breasts while he?s making me come with his hand or a vibrator, again, he?s not able to see the action up close.
One way your partner can see your orgasm up close is by keeping the lights on and looking directly between your legs while getting you off with a vibrator. Or, he can simply watch you make yourself come, live and in person.
I do think the next time I film myself though, I?ll definitely show him before I delete it. My lover is a visual artist, and visuals are an incredible turn-on for him. I imagine it would be a pleasant surprise if I sent him a video of that. Hell, he?d probably be more than willing to be my cameraman.
If you?ve never filmed your orgasm up close, I highly recommend that you do. Go on and take a good hard look at what makes you tick. Learn what your most intimate parts look like when you?re just getting turned on, when you?re on the precipice of orgasm, and, finally, how you look when you hit the highest peak of climax.
If it sounds too strange, too out of your comfort zone, too embarrassing ? that?s all the more reason to go for it!
For more sexy learning, check out:
Wearing a Costume Is Fun ? Pretending You?ve Climaxed Is Not
I had the most satisfying sex thanks to my honesty
Open to, but Can?t Seem to Do, Anal
Pleasing him is important, but I can?t seem to make it work
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