How to Talk Dirty to a Girl Over Text

How to Talk Dirty to a Girl Over Text

how to talk dirty to a girl over textPhoto by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

If you want to meet women online you need to arouse them from afar, and the best way is with dirty texting.

Women and men are, generally speaking, very different sexual creatures. I?ve always been pretty empathetic, and working as a creative writer honed that trait into a skill. In order to write from a feminine perspective, I had to appreciate the female mindset. I spoke with past and present partners about it, and I read a bunch of women’s blogs.

For most men, in addition to love, lust and intimacy sex represents release, dominance, reassurance, and reward. A satisfying fuck can boost a man?s confidence and make him feel like he?s on the right path.

While some women can and do enjoy those aspects of sex, for most women sex represents the coming together of a whole, submission, and safety. Great sex for women reassures them that they?ve chosen a good partner.

It?s funny that the stereotype says men always fall asleep after sex, because for me it?s the opposite. Many women have drifted off in my arms not because I wore them out (well, that too) but because I made them feel safe.

That doesn?t mean you have to be a vanilla white knight. I?m as kinky as poorly stowed hose. But I only get to treat women as I please in the bedroom because I respect them at all times ? even if I happen to have my belt around her neck and my cock crammed down her throat.

For me, that all starts with knowing how to sext.

I?m told I have a confident voice in my writing, but in real life I suffer from horrible anxiety. I?m not exactly good at approaching girls live, so I had to learn how to meet women online. I realized that understanding how to talk dirty to a girl was essential for flirting online, and it has remained a fun and engaging way for me to communicate with women over distance.

Whether you?re trying to meet women online or you want to send dirty texts to girls you meet in person, these principles should serve you well.

Six Steps to Talk Dirty to a Girl Over Text

  1. Treat Her with Respect
  2. Be Polite and Funny at First
  3. Find Out What She Wants
  4. Make Sure She?s in the Mood
  5. Say Something Sexual
  6. Take the Lead

Treat Her with Respect

This starts before you meet and ends when you die. Unless you?re reincarnated, in which case this duty is eternal. There?s no reason not to treat other people with respect, but a woman who you want a relationship with (whether it be emotional or purely physical) deserves it in particular.

You want to put her over your knee and spank her until her mascara runs? You want her to lick your balls and love it? You want her to give you all of her holes?

Better start with a foundation of respect. If you want her to be receptive when you start to talk dirty, you need to earn her respect as well.

Be Polite and Funny at First

Nothing will get you blocked and deleted faster than talking dirty to a girl too soon, and nothing will create more contrast for your dirty talk than being polite at first. Of course you don?t want to wait too long, and being somewhat funny and unique is necessary to keep her engaged. To accomplish this just be yourself; you are unique no matter who you are, and if the two of you are compatible it will be easy to crack jokes as you get a feel for her personality.

I don?t want to give too much specific advice (I?m not going to be one of those guys who provides ready made sexts for you to copy and paste) but here?s a hint; ask questions about her that demonstrate your intent.

This can be as simple as ?what are you doing this weekend?? or as specific as ?do you have any more piercings that I can?t see in your photo??. Open the door for her to talk about herself, but do it in a way that shows you?re interested.

Find Out What She Wants

As soon they feel comfortable doing so, most women will ask you what your goals are in the relationship ? what you?re after. An easy way to demonstrate that you?re not one of the idiots she?s trying to filter and that you have standards is to ask her that question. This has two benefits; you find out what she?s looking for, and you open the door for her to ask you the question, which she was probably waiting to do.

I recommend making a joke out of this ? this time I?m actually not going to give examples, but it?s easy to find a humorous way of asking after someone?s intentions. Hell, just using the word ?intentions? makes it sound overly formal, which could potentially get a laugh-

Damn it. No examples. But a big step towards knowing if she?ll be into dirty talk is asking what she wants.

Make Sure She?s in the Mood

Once you?ve determined a woman has some interest in you, it?s important to make sure she?s in the mood before you start spouting dirty talk. You can do this easily by asking a sexual question, or more subtly by finding ways to make sure she?s in the mood.

I do not mean sending dick pics. Seriously, she?ll ask if she wants them.

If you?re nervous about asking leading questions, the very least you can do is make sure she?s happy and comfortable, so that she can potentially be receptive to whatever you say next. Then again, if you?re nervous about asking leading questions you?re really going to struggle with the next step.

Say Something Sexual

No, I?m not giving any examples, and copy-and-pasting lines would be a bad idea anyway. In order to have a high chance of getting a positive response, you first need to actually learn something about the woman you?re speaking with. Something that follows up on your leading question from earlier might work well, because it shows that you listened.

I will tell you what not to do; don?t immediately get aggressive, and don?t be a stereotype. Clichs do have their place, but the first sexual thing you say shouldn?t be?

Steve Carell GIF via

?unless she told you she?s a huge fan of Anchorman, for example. But even then, I wouldn?t go the clich route. Dirty lines that are unique to you (and the moment) will always do better than anything canned.

Take the Lead

If she responds well to your initial advance, that?s your cue to step up and talk dirty to her. Without going into specifics, here are some things you can talk about when trying to be sexy:

  • How she makes you feel
  • What you want her to do to herself
  • What you?re fantasizing about
  • What you?re doing to yourself or thinking about doing
  • What your first meeting might be like

Don?t get carried away; sometimes less is more. There?s no need to push the right button more than once.

This article isn?t meant to be comprehensive, but it should be solid advice for some men who are seeking to talk dirty with women. When you?re ready to take it to the next level, here are 5 Dirty French Phrases to Say in Bed. I hate making generalizations, so if you?re learning How to Attract an Older Woman or How to Attract a Gemini Woman, I?ve written specific posts on those topics, and I intend to continue writing in this vein.


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