Because it?s awesome and easy
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Those Lies Men Tell after Orgasms?
We know you?re fibbing, and here?s a gratifying alternative
You?re so into us on our date, urgently, passionately, wanting to know everything about us that you find so fascinating. As we get cuddly, you say, ?Oh, you don?t actually have to leave soon like I expected; my job just canceled on me today, so I can stay home!?
Then, we have sex ending with your orgasm. You immediately have to go into the kitchen ostensibly to get us some water, fiddle around, and return with your phone in your hand to say, ?My work just called, and I have to go in after all, so let me take you home now.?
After you return home, you plop into your bed for a nap.
We politely go along with your fib because we get that orgasms change everything for you. But we know you?re faking that phone call, buddy. And therefore, we wonder what else you?re lying about.
There are better options. Much more pleasurable alternatives for you and for us as well.
When you have orgasms, don?t ejaculate. Keep up your energy and interest as long as you want.
There?s, that?s it. Does that make you laugh? Go ahead. Laugh. Get it out of your system. I?ll wait.
An extra trick up your shorts
Most often, men of all ages and experience levels learn within hours how to have an orgasm without ejaculation by using this technique. And once they experience it, they never looked back.
Why? Because a full-body non-ejaculatory orgasm feels more powerful, and is not draining like regular orgasms are.
Why else? Because even if you?re no longer young you can have all of them you want in a row.
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Is that all? No. Because when you have non-ejaculatory orgasms, you don?t lose interest in your partner afterward. Your partner no longer has to feel that he or she has lost the pre-orgasm sparkle. If your partner hasn?t come enough yet, you?ll remain enchanted and motivated to stick around until the satisfying explosions.
You won?t be sleepy, tired or spacey, so you can perform well with whatever you?ve got going on next, even if it?s a competitive sporting event or late night sales where you need to be on top of your charm game.
So, that?s it? Better sex, better life, better relationships? Nope, also better mood and spirituality. You may have no interest in having Taoist or Tantric orgasms, but if you do, that takes it to a whole other level. Those are done with the same mechanics but with different intentions and mental focus, and also tend to include yogic practices outside the bedroom that lead to blissful meditations. And when you are with a Tantric partner, many people find that their love life grows beyond the level of intimacy that is generally possible otherwise.
Once you learn how to do it, you can always have regular orgasms when you want, but beware that you?ll become attuned to how draining they are, especially as you become older. Once you realize their effects, you may not want to have them, as the lower energy can last for a month. This is the subjective reaction that many men have reported to me, and it?s the recovery time period listed in the official records of Taoist and Tantric teachings.
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How to have orgasms without ejaculating
So, you?re ready, are you? Let?s go!
Let?s first look at the moment you need to withhold semen. It?s best to practice with masturbation first, ideally without hard-driving music or porn. When you are nearing the time to come, slow down a little and pay attention to the moment, to your breath, and to what?s in your mind. Remind yourself why you want to avoid ejaculation this time and how much better it will feel and that you?re not giving up anything but are enhancing your experience.
When you reach the point of no return, stop moving, and with a finger or knuckle, push upward against your perineum as hard as you safely can without risking pain or injury. Clench the perineum muscles upwards as if you?re shooting energy up your spine from that point.
At the same time, close your eyes and turn them upward as if you?re looking above your head.
Simultaneously curl your tongue backward inside your closed mouth, so the bottom of the tongue presses against your upper palate.
Also if possible create as much of a straight line in your spine as you realistically can do in the moment. That includes pulling your chin down to straighten your neck.
Tighten your muscle right below your rib cage so it clenches upward and inward.
And hold your breath as long as you can.
You can alternately do this to stall an orgasm so you can keep going. If you do that, also grasp the base of the shaft and squeeze. When you?re doing this with a partner, you can ask him or her to take care of that or the perineum bit for you.
Not all partners are down with this kind of orgasm at first, but most will be once they realize the benefits and can remove the associations of ? ejaculation means he likes me.
Yes, that?s a lot of actions to remember to do all at once. That?s why it?s preferable to practice those actions regularly without masturbation, then master the process with masturbation, and only then with a partner you?ve trained to know how to read the signs and follow your guidance to participate.
While you hold your breath, clench, etc, you?ll be having the orgasm of your life. You can do it as often as you want each time you masturbate and have sex, until you?re satisfied, gratified without being drained or bored or ready to move on to something else ? like sleep. You?re buzzing and vitalized. No need to lie and abandon your partner so you can rest or do something besides sex ? sex remains intriguing but the desperation is gone.
And, once you get used to this method, you soon won?t need to push on the perineum or squeeze the base of shaft at all. The other actions such as stopping moving and holding your breath will be automatic, and your lovemaking can be smooth and suave.
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So, what you had was longer lasting and more potent than regular orgasms. It makes for more fulfilling relationships. But it wasn?t Tantric. Tantra Yoga is a very specific real life spiritual practice with actual rules. The term has been sensationalized and diluted for the sake of making money off of it to the point that when many people use the word, what they?re referring to has zero relationship to Tantra.
The term ?Neo-Tantra? is handy to use for modern Western practices with at least some relation to traditional Eastern Tantra Yoga.
If you?re a legitimate Tantric practitioner, the only kind of orgasms that you can have within the Tantric system guidelines do avoid ejaculation. But there?s more to a Tantric orgasm than that.
This is an example of a yogic practice that trains you to have orgasms without ejaculation. It should only be done by people with healthy lumbar spines, as otherwise, you could cause serious lifelong problems. Sit in lotus (or as close as you can get to it) with your hands clasped low behind your back in a relaxed position. Bend down to touch your chest to your right knee (or as close as you can get.) As you bend down, breathe out. As you return to sitting up, breathe in. Then, repeat, to your left knee. Do this eighty times altogether (forty times down to each knee.)
When you?re completed the eighty bends after you?ve breathed out, come to center with an extra substantial inbreath. Hold it as long as you can while doing all the other things I listed earlier: curling your tongue, closing your eyelids and turning your eyes upward, straightening your spine and neck, clenching the perineum upwards, as well as the muscle at the solar plexus area.
Then, suddenly release everything at once and sit there in lotus with your eyes closed and just be. Breathe normally. The first time or two you do it, you might not feel much at that point, because you?ve been focused on learning the mechanics. But once you?ve got them down pat, this is the stage at which you experience the big meditative payoff. Pure expansive bliss, no need for thought, the sense of being part of the whole world, extending your exciting identity beyond the boundaries of your skin. Being love.
Stay in that meditation until you naturally come back to ordinary consciousness enough that you feel like doing something else. But you?ll still be transformed by it.
If you?re spiritually inclined, you?ll enjoy this yogic practice on its own, and you?ll also be preparing yourself for non-ejaculatory orgasms so that when you make love, retaining semen will come naturally. And when you make love, you?ll also be able to feel this expansive consciousness sensation. Sex and meditative bliss is a winning combination. And you can share it with your partner, especially if you show him or her how to do exercises like the one I described. And teach your partner not to move once you freeze during sex.
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Tantra involves unproven beliefs such as karma and reincarnation, but if you don?t believe in such things, Neo-Tantra still can work for you. Even an atheist or Christian can still feel the spirituality of the lower and more regular brainwave patterns that emerge from the practice. There?s a sense of awe and respect for the glories of the body, gratitude for the chance to exist on this earth.
Tantra is not sex ? it?s a spiritual practice for the benefit of becoming a better person and ideally eventually raising the Kundalini. If you?re doing exercises such as this one on a regular basis, you?re doing some beginning Tantra, as long as your mind is focused properly. If your mind is wandering into materialistic places, you?re missing out.
To do it correctly, you have to use your imagination to feel as if you?re moving energy around. Whether or not you actually are is a matter of opinion. Where your eyes ?look,? even if your lids are closed, directs the sensation of energy flow. And even if you aren?t actually turning your eyeballs all the way toward the location of the energy flowing, there?s an internal subtle intent of looking that creates the effect.
Imagine that, with your perineum as you draw the muscles upward, you?re sucking up boundless energy from the earth or from what?s generated by your gonads? excitement if you?re turned on while doing the exercises. But when you?re practicing, ideally the excitement comes from an abstract place rather than distracting you with dirty images.
?Look? at the base of your body as you begin to breathe in and then as you continue the inbreath, imagine drawing the energy up a central line of your body, such as through your spinal column, perhaps imagining it rising through a straw. Or you can imagine it as a snake uncoiling and rising up through your spine. Draw the energy up in increments at first as you get used to it, and then eventually draw it up all the way to the top of your head.
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In Tantra, the visualization is that Shiva the god is at the top of the head calling the goddess Shakti?s energy to him through your spine, as she resides at the base of your spine. Then, the god and goddess make love through your body. Some adherents take the deities literally, but most see them as being symbolic. They can represent the positive and negative magnetism that is found at the top of the head and the base of the spine.
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What you?re doing is creating more of a magnetic flow of energy through your body that feels great and unifies parts of your personality.
Your Shakti is individualized, concentrated in a way that makes going about your ordinary life possible.
Your Shiva acknowledges that you are part of the cosmos. We make artificial distinctions between us and what?s around us, but in fact, we?re like cells in an organism. We breathe in what trees breath out. We breathe in molecules that historical figures across the globe breathed out. Our skin sloughs off. We eat and poo plants.
By doing this exercise, you integrate your individuality and your connection to the world. And it feels fantastic.
If you?re able to conceive of this, next time you do the exercise, continue breathing the focus of attention up to the top of your head, but don?t stop there. Look upward with your eyes to create in imaginary fountain of energy that rises up before it returns back down through your body.
When you do that while having an orgasm, it feels like extending the pleasure through your torso and beyond into the part of your ?self? that exists outside your skin. If that?s too weird for you, that?s fine. Just do the exercises in whatever way feels logical to you, and you?re good to go. But if it feels natural to do so, you can take it a step further with a partner.
Do that exercise in lotus position with a partner. Both of you bring the energy above your heads at the same time before returning it to the base of your spine. That?s particularly enjoyable while doing that while sitting back to back.
Now, turn to face each other, and instead of bringing the focus back down your own body, bring it down your partner?s body. While you two are getting used to reading each other, trace the pattern with your finger on his or her body. So, when the imaginary circulation of energy comes down from above your head and across to your partner?s scalp, touch it lightly and drag your finger down along your partner?s spine to the base.
Your partner will imagine that line of light. Then, push at the base to represent the energy jumping across from your partner?s sex organs to yours, and draw the imaginary line of energy up your body again. Circle it around as long as you both like, making it go faster and harder as you progress.
You?ll be hopefully feel that you?re able to sort of be inside each other?s bodies. You each feel the other?s energy traveling inside your body. By circulating it, it becomes not just you and the other person, but both of you together as one. It?s energizing, intimately bonding, a new adventure to explore.
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And then you can incorporate that visualization while you make love. And at the point of orgasm, when you prevent ejaculation, draw the energy up forcefully above your head and circle it over to your partner. Or draw it up only to the heart and place your hand on your partner?s heart as you press the energy into it. Or draw it to your third eye area and press your forehead to your partners as you send the energy across and down.
You can spin the energies faster and faster, bringing in more energy at a time. You can reverse the direction of spin. You can incorporate guided meditations you take each other one while making love or while lying together before or after sex, and your relationship will never get stale.
It?s a whole playground of possibilities to experiment with.