If you want a more experienced partner, first you?ll have to earn her respect.
Photo by Kat Nelson on Unsplash
Wondering how to attract older women? Here you?ll learn the benefits of dating older women and how to enjoy them.
If you?re the type of young man who feels the need to seek out a variety of sexual experiences (there?s nothing wrong with that, by the way), then I think you should have a relationship with an older woman at some point. Even if it?s just for a short time, you may learn things about yourself and the opposite sex that you probably wouldn?t pick up from dating a dozen girls your own age.
My Experience with Older Women
The first older woman I slept with changed my perspective on sex and relationships dramatically for the better. I was in my early twenties at the time, and had only ever engaged with girls close to my own age. She was in her early thirties (the age gap was about ten years), and we got to know each other through a local seasonal community group.
When the group meetings ended we continued seeing each other casually, until one night I found the courage to make a move. I was nervous; at the time I lived on a friend?s couch and had almost no income. I couldn?t figure out why she was attracted to me? but I couldn?t think of any other reason why she?d spend so much time with me.
We wound up enjoying the night together at her place, and just like that sex became a regular part of our relationship that lasted until she left the area for a new career.
Now I?m in my early thirties, and in the last ten years I?ve spent time with a number of mature women ranging from their mid thirties to mid forties. To be honest, age isn?t really a factor for me one way or the other. It?s all about sexual compatibility, but that?s because I?m kinky as a pre-wound power cord.
8 Benefits of Dating an Older Woman
Here are just a few of the things I love about intimacy with older women:
- They know what they want and they aren?t afraid of it
- They?re better communicators, meaning better conversations (and potentially sex)
- They?re less likely to react without thinking
- They?re more likely to take an interest in and support your passions
- They?re less likely to be dependent on you (emotionally, financially, etc)
- You (usually) don?t need to worry about their parents disliking you
- They typically have more sexual experience and are often more adventurous
- They?re more likely to tolerate your bad habits
If those reasons aren?t enough for you, here?s a benefit from my personal experience; older women can be incredibly seductive. I don?t know if they just know what men want due to experience, or if they make an extra effort to bridge the age gap, but most of the mature girls I?ve slept with have been exceptionally appreciative and dedicated to turning me on.
Most older women desire a dichotomy in a younger man, which can be hard to provide. They want someone who will respect their maturity, but not treat them like they?re ?old?. You don?t need to worry so much about being fit or good-looking. As mentioned previously, mature women tend to have high sex drives, and aren?t ashamed of getting what they want as they might have been in younger years.
Instead of primping, putting on perfume (it?s perfume even if you call it body spray), and waxing your car, worry about the following; you need to have interesting things to talk about, you need to have goals in life, and you should really be able to perform in bed. One of the main reasons that older women enjoy younger men is their virility, so if you feel there?s any chance of problems with your sex drive, consider letting her know up front. She?ll probably respect you for admitting it, and you?ll be under less pressure.
That?s getting a little ahead of the game, though. First you need to focus on attraction and seduction, so here are the steps to attracting an older woman.
- Be direct. That doesn?t mean ungraceful, but she a) doesn?t have time for your bullshit and b) has heard it all before. She?s interested in you, be interested in her, and not shy about it.
- Make an impression. This is a bit more challenging than just buying a gift (she probably has most of what she needs? except, apparently, a good man). A really fun date can do the job, but so can seriously impressing her between the sheets (I?m getting ahead of myself again). Use your judgment based on her personality and fight a way to create a lasting memory.
- Don?t be needy. The last thing most older women want is to be a younger guy?s caretaker. That would make her feel like your mother, which aside from having its own problems, highlights the age gap between you. A little independence can go a long way, and being comfortable spending time apart will make her enjoy your company even more.
- Be a gentleman. The majority of mature women have met enough different men to realize that jerks aren?t diamonds-in-the-rough requiring polish; they?re just jerks. So make an extra effort to be courteous. She?ll know you?re trying, and that?s pretty much the point.
- Turn her on. This is easier than a lot of men think, because you can just ask her what she likes. I normally have this conversation with women who I?m considering any kind of relationship with. It can be a good way to approach the subject, and older women are probably even more likely on average to be receptive to an intimate conversation.
- Be honest. If you?re not happy with something, tell her. If you want to try something with her, definitely tell her. Experience generally makes people more open minded and understanding. While there are certainly exceptions to that, if you get to know an older woman and feel like she might be receptive to an idea, there?s a good chance she will be.
Final Thoughts on Attracting Mature Women
Now that you understand the general framework for attracting an older woman, how will you put it to use? Remember to treat her with respect, keep an open mind, and follow the six steps outlined above. Soon you may find yourself enjoying all the benefits of a relationship with an older woman. Just don?t call her a cougar. Some find it funny, some find it insulting, but few will take it as a compliment.