Adventures in Toe Sucking.

Adventures in Toe Sucking.

Or how to get off on the right foot.

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?It?s cool as long as he doesn?t treat me like a fetish delivery system.? BlueBerryJay

If you haven?t had your toes sucked, either you?re missing out ? or you?re completely sane. There?s no in-between with ?shrimping,? as it?s called. You can?t say, ?Well, I might try it if I?m in the mood.? Waiting for the right mood isn?t going to make you a toe sucker or a toe suckee.

Either you?re positronic for feet or you?re totally grossed out by the very thought.

It?s a divisive issue, at any rate. Fetishism usually means you can?t have sex without that particular stimuli. Shrimpers, on the other hand, work on a sliding scale. Sure, they?d really like to suck your toes. But if you smack them hard enough, they?ll move up to more familiar territory.

It?s not a dealbreaker, in other words.

It?s not like sucking someone?s finger. We?ve all done the finger. Nothing shameful there, unless your partner?s a butcher.

The reason it isn?t a dealbreaker is because toe sucking carries a certain amount of shame. It?s not like sucking someone?s finger. We?ve all done the finger. Nothing shameful there, unless your partner?s a butcher. Then you?re just asking for trouble. Butcher?s hands are a playground for pathogens we?ve never even considered ? unless you?re another butcher.

The shame of toe sucking is directly related to a Freudian thing. According to him, toes are an alternative penis, meaning, if you?re into sucking toes, and you?re a guy, you?ve got bigger issues than sucking toes.

That said, you?d be surprised how many toe suckers there are these days. Back in 2006, AOL released a database of search terms. The most common was feet. It?s also ranked as the most common form of fetishism related to non-sexual body parts.

That?s if you buy the notion that toes are non-sexual body parts. For the true podophiliac, nothing could be more sexual. Just the thought of a well-proportioned toe (long, short, etc.), leaves the average toe sucker in a constant state of arousal. Throw in a smelly sock (olfactophilia) and they?re over the moon. Most of us wouldn?t touch a smelly sock?not even on a dare.

Ashamed they may be, but it doesn?t stop them from asking women on dating sites to send them their smelly socks.

Imagine then, the true toe enthusiast practically salivating over smelly socks. These olfactophiacs, represent 45 percent (according to a 1994 study) of all foot fetishists. Ashamed they may be, but it doesn?t stop them from asking women on dating sites to send them their smelly socks.

They?ll even pay for them (going rates obviously vary depending on the state, the amount of humidity, and yearly rainfall).

So how did all this get past us? Are toe suckers a recent uprising, or has this sort of thing been going on for years?

Actually, it?s been going on for thousands of years. Back in Ancient Greece, Philostratus wrote a book called ?To A Barefoot Woman,? followed by ?To A Barefoot Man.? Seems if you?re wearing sandals all the time, Philostratus and a bunch of incognito Greeks considered that sashaying.

I say ?incognito? because shrimping has been frowned upon in many cultures, although far less during the great epidemics of social diseases. Take the great gonorrhea epidemic in the twelve century, and syphilis epidemics in both the 16th and 19th centuries. Things were known to get ugly?and deadly.

To protect oneself, you either abstained, or you got creative. Thus, the sucking of toes.

To protect oneself, you either abstained, or you got creative. Thus, the sucking of toes. Once people got into that, they made the discovery that you could actually get off ? sometimes really off.

Feet have all sorts of nerves directly linked to other parts of the body. Stimulate the right ones (genitalia) and you?re in for a good time. It?s what they call a ?neural crosswalk,? part of the somatosensory index.

In other words, feet can rock.

A study done at Ohio State University by Dr. James Giannini, found that over half of all fetishes focus on the feet. Looks like Freud was right. A definite link exists between toes and genitalia or toe suckers wouldn?t be clambering for a good shrimping while the rest of us simply get off.

To get off on the right foot, you should follow certain practices ? especially if you?re a newbie.

If this gives you second thoughts about toe sucking, there are codicils and caveats you should consider before being a toe sucker or suckee. To get off on the right foot, you should follow certain practices?especially if you?re a newbie. These are listed here:

  1. Getting consent up front is vital(so you don?t get smacked): You can?t just start sucking someone?s toes, or dropping peanut butter on her foot and say, ?I?ll get that.? This will result in a good smacking. It?s always best to put your proposition up front. If she?s cool, then sure, add a food group.
  2. Cleanliness is next to, well, cleanliness: Smelly socks aside, having clean feet seems like a no brainer. Same goes for ?toe fang? (long toenails). As adventurous as toe suckers may seeem, getting a toenail scratching the back of your throat ain?t funny.
  3. The foreplay of toe sucking: Yes, there?s foreplay. Try massaging the foot first, moving casually to the toes. Rubbing your thumb along the base will send electric signals right up her legs (if you?re doing it right; if you?re not, she may start doing her taxes).
  4. Lotions, creams and possibly peanut butter: Like any form of massage, lubricating the area is all part of good foreplay. Going in dry shows a complete lack of respect, making you a so-so toe sucker.
  5. Post coital toe sucking: Gearing down is just as important as gearing up. You might start by washing your partner?s feet (especially if there?s peanut butter involved). Then, perhaps, discuss her level of satisfaction. Never take for granted that your toe-sucking skills are off the charts.

Hopefully, with this guidance, you can bring ?game? to your toe sucking fetish. Just keep in mind that newbies are always going to be reticent ? and possibly warlike if they don?t like what you?re doing.

If she orgasms, don?t go jumping around like you?re the Kobe Bryant of toe suckers.

And remember, the true test of any shrimper is the response you get from your partner. If she orgasms, don?t go jumping around like you?re the Kobe Bryant of toe suckers. Stay calm, offer her some peanut butter, and thank God she hasn?t smacked you in the head.

You?re still a toe sucker, for cryin? out loud.

Most of us think you?re squirrelly.

Robert Cormack is a novelist, journalist and blogger. His first novel ?You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can?t Make It Scuba Dive)? is available online and at most major bookstores (now in paperback). Check out Skyhorse Press or Simon & Schuster for more details.

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