It doesn?t have to be all or nothing.
Photo by Everton Vila of Unsplash
I love the idea of getting creative with your intimacy and switching from the status quo. After all, it doesn?t have to be sex for it to be intimate. How many times have you found yourself mindlessly holding your partner?s hand and feeling infatuated with romance? Finding things that make you feel closer to your significant other, without the act of physicality, can help shift your relationship in a big way. If sex is the only form of intimacy that exists in your current relationship, I would encourage you to give these 12 suggestions a shot. You might be surprised at just how intimate each one feels.
Spend some time cuddling.
Try skipping the sex and go straight into the ?post-act? cuddling session. Feeling the embrace of the one you love can provide a true feeling of intimacy. Put on a little background music, soak in the stillness of you and your partner together, and appreciate the feeling of their breath and sound of their heartbeat. It can feel much more intimate than you might think.
Talk about what?s important.
I have shared before what I believe to be the most important conversations for couples to have if they have the desire of making it work. The greater the seriousness of the conversation, the more intimate the dialogue. Initiate a conversation where you and your partner discuss the things that matter to you most, your goals for the future, and the things you would like most from that other person. Understanding these things can help you feel closer to your person.
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If the people in my life were to list the things I do in my free time, dancing would undoubtedly be on the list. Not only is dancing a great form of exercise, but it can also be most intimate when shared with another person. Take up a dance class or break out in dance within the comfort of your own kitchen, but either way, dancing can be one of the most effortless ways to feel close to your partner.
Offer your assistance with something.
Sometimes our actions speak louder than our words. There is a reason why ?acts of service? is included on the list of the 5 Love Languages. People appreciate both feeling needed and listened to. Noticing the dishes in the sink and clothes in the laundry basket might be the first step towards letting your partner feel appreciated without having to say a word. Not to mention that when he or she comes home from a long day at work or takes you up on your offer in the moment to provide assistance, there is always the possibility it ends in physical intimacy. But first, it?s important to know how to achieve that same feeling through acts of selflessness.
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Try something new together.
Trying something new together can be one of the best ways of feeling close to your partner. Perhaps it?s something as mild as a pottery class or as extreme as skydiving, sharing new experiences with your partner can be a great way of feeling intimate without the physical act of sex. Trying new things makes you both feel vulnerable and that can be simple, yet exciting!
No, I don?t mean sex. I mean literally sleeping together. Curl up with each other and drift off. Trusting each other enough to simply sleep together is incredibly intimate, not to mention it can also be strangely romantic.
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Play a game of truth or dare.
There is nothing more delicious and more romantic than honesty sprinkled with a little adventure. It doesn?t have to be an explicit game, but sometimes a little healthy competition with your partner can make the two of you feel closer. Try including a few things you?d like to try in the ?dare? category and things about your partner you?d like to know for the ?truth? category.
Share your fantasies.
I never said the other forms of intimacy had to exclude sex completely. How often has the thought crossed your mind to role play? Perhaps bringing a little bondage into the bedroom? My assumption would be that you were too shy to bring it up. Do both of you the favor and take a moment to sit down and share your fantasies. You don?t have to fulfill them all right then, but it shows courage to open up and say, ?I?d like to try this one day.?
Give each other a massage.
You don?t need to go to a professional, but rather give each other massages instead. It can be so incredibly sexy to have that man or woman rub all the tension out of your neck and back. Make it even more intimate and leave clothing optional ? just don?t set any expectations of intimacy that surpasses a nice, relaxing massage.
There is something to be said about the couple that chooses to stay in and save the 5-course meal at the fanciest restaurant in town for another night. No 3-piece suits and cocktail dresses required. Just you and your partner in the kitchen, wearing your comfiest clothing, and teaming up to put together a delicious meal can be beautifully intimate. Not to mention it shows where your strengths are and allows for a foundation of teamwork while one of you cuts the peppers and the other works the stove.
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Focus on just simply kissing.
Somewhere along the way, we?ve lost sight of the joy of a simple makeout. Keep the clothes on and enjoy the thrill of kissing without expecting anything more. Not to mention, going straight to the main course is so boring. Try something more innocent and see how connected you truly feel.
Start a project.
Starting a project with someone is a silent way of showing your commitment to them. You are letting them know you want to create something together and that it matters to you that they are a part of the process in doing so. Not just your commitment, but it can rapidly alert you to the strengths of your partner and how he or she handles challenges as they arise. It doesn?t have to be a total renovation, but perhaps a fun craft like a ?365 Things I Love About Your? jar or a hobby that?s new for the both of you.
As you can see, being intimate with your partner in more ways than just sex doesn?t have to be complex ? it can be as simple as cozying up for a long afternoon nap. Regardless, by challenging your relationship to find romance in places other than just physical intercourse, you are introducing versatility to your affection. With endless ways of bringing back romance, you can seek solace in moments of tension much faster than if you were to strictly rely on ?make-up sex? to do the trick.